1&2

Total 1&2 Part 1 Betty's Last Lecture I'm not anywhere near death. I am 46 and have probably 54 more years to live. I am the mother of two children and divorced from my husband. I really try not feel sorry for myself, having no reason, as death is not imminent in my life like in Randy Pausch's case. So how to spend my the time yet unfathomable as to its end? I embrace every moment with my children and do everything possible to prepare them for the day that they must forge their lives without me. My mental debate is that in knowing that my life could be swept away from me from disease or accident, how to teach my children the habits of thought and action that would help them live their lives without me. The children are too young now to see how my efforts will help shape their lives in the future. Like any parent I want to teach my children right from wrong, what I feel is important and how to deal with the difficulties life will bring. Parents want children to know stories from their own lives perhaps as a way to teach them how to live theirs and mistakes to avoid. My desire to do that lead me to follow Randy Pausch's format of a last lecture. This writing will never be presented to anyone as a graduation lecture at any academic institution. There truly is no audience other than my children and my friends. If I were an illustrator, I would have drawn a book for them. If I were a carpenter I would build a home for them, but I am a writer so like the story of Joseph and His Overcoat, I"m writing them a story. Betty's Last Lecture #1. An examined life. When I consider my demise and ruminate on what matters most to me, what wisdom would I impart to my children if I knew it was my last chance? What would I want as my legacy? I could share perhaps about my personal and professional journey. I have a great urge to leave some words that would serve as guide posts to my children. This is my insurance policy against unforeseen accidents that may cut short my life. What makes me unique that would define my 46 years of life? I never envisioned a dream for my life so there was no dream to fulfill. My childhood was very constricted. My life with my children is a struggle against that. I wanted for my children an examined life. I wanted for them to form aspirations from their childhood. #2. The Cards I Was Dealt & The Hand I Played Life snuck up on me. I was always unprepared: to the girls who called me names in middle school, to the subject that I wanted to study in college, to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I didn't know I was supposed to look for a possible husband in college. After graduation, eligible men thinned out. I finally married at twenty nine. At thirty four I had my first child, Bryan. All my insecurities flooded upon me as I realized that I, now am responsible for another human being, how he would turn out, how he would think about himself, how he would relate to those around him. Not trusting my instincts which seemed not to have served me well in the past, I read book after book on how to raise a child. Day in and day out my nose was between the covers of a book. I read the latest research, rat experiments, nutrition, language acquisition, fine motor skills, gross motor skill, brain development. Five years later, I counted a total of over one hundred books read. My child is going to know what to say when a middle schooler calls him name a name. My child is going to know what he wants to be when he grows up. #3. My Childhood My great grandfather was a very wealthy land owner in North Vietnam. It was said that he owned land so vast that birds had to rest in their flight to cover the entire extent of his land. It was the time when Ho Chi Minh was gathering power. Communist ideology believed in the distribution of wealth amongst the poor. How? By taking. My great grandfather and two of his sons were killed. My grandfather fled to the coast of Vietnam with Communist soldiers in hot pursuit. For three days and three nights my grandfather, his wife and their seven children made their way through the tropical jungle of Vietnam. My uncle told me they were rescued by an American Red Cross ship that took them to South Vietnam where they started a new life.